What to Say

Edit: I hope this post doesn’t come across as if Robert and I don’t appreciate the support we’ve received over the past year. We very much do. It’s just that, as I mentioned in the last post, I sometimes have a hard time focusing on the positive things. After my testimony a reporter from the local paper came up to me and asked for the correct spelling of our names. As he walked away he said “the claim sounds far-fetched, we probably wont’ run it anyway.” I stopped myself from saying “I’m sorry that what was probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me doesn’t make a good story for you.” I think instead I told him to have a nice day. Regardless, his comment has been in my head on repeat for days.

There is something I’ve been meaning to blog about for over a year now. It’s not that I’ve been keeping from y’all exactly, I just didn’t like mixing topics like politics and religion with the blog. Also I didn’t want to talk about it until it was “over” (and legally I don’t think I’m allowed to until then) .

Well, it’s still not “over”, but I know friends & family are worried (especially after my last post), so I thought I’d try to fill you in a little bit. Maybe one day I will go into more detail, but today is not that day. I hope you understand.

July 15th, 2011 Robert and I were the victims of a crime. One minute we were leaving his grandmother’s birthday party saying “Want to drop these cookies off at Ryan’s house?” and the next there were bullets flying through my car. With us in it.

I also remember it as the night I started my Twitter account. Not surprisingly, Volkswagen does not have a response for someone tweeting them to thank them for making a car that can apparently stop a 9mm total metal jacket round from entering their husband’s femoral artery. (Obviously not my exact phrasing on that, as the body shop hadn’t extracted the bullet from the car door yet.)

The State Attorney is trying the case. This means we are listed as “state’s witnesses”, not victims. This has it’s pluses and minuses. One plus is, we aren’t paying a dime. One minus is, we can’t drop the case. Not even when we go through a hearing and a jury trial (during both of which we have to see the man who shot at us, at one point Robert had to stand next to him for 20 minutes while gesturing at some photos of the car on a projector), only to have the judge declare it a mistrial and we have to start all over again from square one. To anyone who saw my “I hate the legal system” tweet, followed by “send bourbon”, that is why.

I’ve disabled comments on this post because I don’t want to to turn into a political/gun control debate. Also, I found these posts helpful. (Not that I am comparing our situation to what Heidi went through at all.) What to Say; What Not to Say.

My own list would be slightly more like this:

What To Say
1. Holy shit!
2. Oh my god.
3. I’m so sorry.

What Not To Say:
1. That’s why I own a gun.
2. *racial/sosocio-economical slur*
3. I saw this story about gun crime and thought of you. *links story*
4. I know what you’re going through.

As a result of all of this, we’ve been spending the majority of our free time going to our favorite coffee shop, taking bike rides, or sitting on the patio in the Adirondack chairs we built on sunny evenings. Basically, we’re working on our Summer List.

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